World Toe Wrestling Championships

Festival Location: Ashbourne, England

Festival Type(s): Bizarre Festivals, Bizarre Sports Events

Toe Wrestling

By: © Michael J. Rosen 2009

"There's No 'arm in Toe Wrestling."

- the sport's official motto

Every year, competitors from as far as the United States, Canada, Australia, and Germany travel to the Bentley Brook Inn in Ashbourne, Derbyshire, England, for the world's least furtive and most aggressive game of footsie: The World Toe Wrestling Championship.

While the day begins with a comprehensive toe and foot inspection of all competitors, the same cannot be said for the puns. According to George Burgess, who resurrected the sport in 1990 (it disappeared in 1977), toe wrestling comes down to "perseverance, ankle strength, and having a `toe-riffic' sense of humor."

Competitors sit on a "toedium," place their feet on a wooden frame called the "toesrack," interlock the big toes of both feet, and face off in a best-of-three "toe-down," trying to push their opponent's feet off the frame. If a wrestler is in too much pain, he or she may forfeit by calling, "It's toe much!" adding insult to injury.

In 2005, Paul "The Toeminator" Beech and his wife, Heather "Mrs. Toeminator" Beech took the men's and women's title respectively. Paul defeated Alan "Nasty" Nash, who had won five consecutive years, including 2000, when he had an "undisclosed broken foot." Meanwhile, Heather went toe-to-toe with her sister and defeated her in the women's final. When it comes to toe wrestling, apparently many things are "relative," including a sense of humor and toe size: Bigger ones are more winning.

No Dribbling the Squid

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