Testicle Festival (Testy Festy)

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Testicle Festival (Testy Festy) Photos

Testicle Festival (Testy Festy)

By: © Paul Dodson 2015

High on the list of the world's crazier events is the Montana Testicle Festival held in Rock Creek Lodge just outside of Clinton, Montana every fall.

From it's humble beginnings over two decades ago, the Montana Testicle Festival now attracts in the region of 10,000 revellers from all walks of life for the five days of festivities.

There's live music, the Testy Festy Awards, bullshit bingo, body painting, a wet t-shirt competition, a hairy chest contest, loads to drink and of course - more testys than you can poke a stick at.

On the topic of testicles and why, Rod Lincoln, the creator of the Montana Testicle Festival has been quoted as saying, "it's the waste not, want not" tradition of Montana and, besides, many of the world's cultures consider testicles a delicacy. For the health conscious, he adds that "they're 70 percent or more protein, and, obviously, they're boneless."

So if you've got a few days to kill in September why not drop in on Rod and his friends in Montana. Tickets are a steal at only a tenner for the entire five days of festivities and chances are, you'll have a ball!

Testicle Festival (Testy Festy)

MMMMontana tendergroin...cowboy caviar...critter fritters. Come have a ball, or two, or two dozen at Montana's Original Testicle Festival. This all-out, five-day fest is held every September at the Rock Creek Lodge, a seedy bunkhouse, bar and casino in the no-man's land located half-way between Glacier and Yellowstone national parks. The festival is the brainchild of Rod Lincoln, owner of the lodge. Like every year after the festival, he's got a wicked case of laryngitis. "I believe every place should have a signature event that sets it apart. And since there are a lot of Rocky Mountain Oyster thieves around these parts, it was a natural." Then Lincoln adds, "And I just loved the way Testicle Festival rolled off my tongue."

What started out in 1982 as a quirky culinary celebration of Rocky Mountain Oysters (bull balls) for 300 has turned into a 15,000-person R-rated, knock-em-down, drag-em-out party. "Yep, there's lots of gratuitous nudity, so this is no place for the kids. But it's all spontaneous. I guess people are expressing their First Amendment rights." He's talking about events like the Body Painting Contest, the Co-Ed Naked Pool Tournament, the Wet T-shirt Contest (if T-shirts are worn at all), and the Hairy Chest Contest, where men often drop their drawers to further impress the judges.

There are also events for the clothed, such as Bullshit Bingo, where people buy a square on a huge grid for $5. Every time the bull shits, somebody wins $100. For the thousands of Harley riders who show up every year, there's the Biker Ball Biting Contest. Lincoln explains, "It's a fishing pole kind of affair. We put a Rocky Mountain Oyster on a clip attached to the line hanging over the street. And girls on the back of a bike try to bite the ball as they pass without using their hands." Other entertainment? In 1999 Lincoln invited the Seattle Cossacks Motorcycle Stunt and Drill Team to thrill the crowd. And what party would be complete without lots of music and booze?

But the balls are always the main attraction...the edible kind, that is. Way back in 1999, Lincoln served over 54,000 pounds of USDA-approved Rocky Mountain Oysters quadruple-dipped in a wet and dry batter with special herbs and spices. Lincoln laughs, "I like to say Colonel Sanders went to his grave without my recipe.".

America Bizarro

America Bizarro by Nelson TaylorThe above snippet is just one of a collection of 240 off-beat articles on 2camels from Nelson Taylor's wonderful America Bizarro.

America Bizarro is a unique travel guide that celebrates humorously interesting, pop-culture kitschy and off-the-map odd festivals, out-of-the-way gatherings, kooky conventions, conferences and contests throughout the United States.

Testicle Festival (Testy Festy) Video

Join the irrepressible Evan Mann and Gareth Reynolds as they pop in on the Treasure State for Montana's annual Testy Fest.

Witness the Undie 500 (a little like it's big brother the Indy 500 but with less clothing and slightly slower vehicles) the obligatory wet t-shirt competition, oil wrestling strippers and le morceau de résistance the fried bulls balls eating competition. Bon apetite!

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