Shrovetide Football

Festival Location: Ashbourne, England

Festival Type(s): Bizarre Sports Events, Bizarre Festivals, Parties

Shrovetide Football

By: © Michael J. Rosen 2009

"Keep the Ball out of the Cemetery...And Players Must Not Murder Their Opponents."

- BBC

Imagine an NFL football game. Now, round out that ball, lose the shoulder pads, and add a few hundred or even a thousand players to each team. Okay, now move the end zones three miles apart, and dam a river at the 50-yard line. Now you're ready for some Royal Shrovetide Football.

Two games are played annually - one on Shrove Tuesday, the other on Ash Wednesday - in Ashbourne, Derbyshire, England. Shrovetide football is city-wide mob game that dispenses with million-dollar TV ads, along with any need for referees with their little yellow penalty flags to throw down at the first sign of excessive celebration.

The sport squares off two teams: Those living north of the Henmore River are the up'ards; those living south, are the down'ards. Fortunately, those in the east and west have yet to realize that they've been left out of the ruckus.

While the game is called "football," there isn't much kicking involved. Instead, at 2 p.m. the game begins in the center of town. (Today that's the middle of a grocery store parking lot, which does make finding a parking space a bitch.) After a robust singing of "Auld Lang Syne" and "God Save the Queen," a visiting dignitary starts the game by "turning up" (tossing) the ball into the awaiting crowd. Then, all hell breaks loose as the ball is carried, thrown, or advanced in a scrum-like mass, an Ashburnian group hug, toward a goal that's many boisterous pubs and three long miles away.

If a goal is scored - a pre-determined player honored with the chance to score must tap the ball three times against a symbolic stone marker - before 5 p.m., a new ball is put into play and the game continues until 10 p.m. If the first goal isn't scored until after 5 p.m., the game is called, and the pubs fill with sweaty win'ards and lose'ards who hang out until someone reminds the crowd that the kids at home still need to be fed.

Shrovetide football is said to have been played since the 12th century, when the game "ball" was the head of an executed criminal. (It seem as if Keep Away might have provided a better model for the game.) But the exact origins of the game were destroyed in 1891, when a fire ravaged the Royal Shrovetide Committee office. Modern games are played with a commemoratively painted leather ball filled with Portuguese cork (to prevent the ball from sinking during its likely submergence in the local river). Only twice in 100-plus years have the games been canceled: After the 1968 and 2001 outbreaks of foot-and-mouth disease.

From the Actual Shrovetide Football Rule Book

Unnecessary violence frowned upon.
Ball can't be transported in a motor vehicle.
Ball must not be hidden in bags, rucksacks, coats, etc.
Keep the ball out of cemeteries, churchyards, and the Memorial Gardens.
Murder and manslaughter are barred.
No playing after 10:00 p.m.

Ashbourne invites anyone and everyone to take part in the "game." Try and fit in by learning the lyrics to the Shrovetide Anthem at the BBC's special tribute to the game.

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