Mondo Croquet World Championships

Mondo Croquet

Article by: © Michael J. Rosen 2012

"If Your Ball Splits Into Multiple Pieces...Finish the Game With the Largest Piece."

- from the Mondo Croquet organizer's manual

In the history of sports, time seems to enlarge things: Numbers of participating teams, salaries, opportunities to shill stuff. Is it any surprise that the Oregon city that advises itself to "Keep Portland weird!" would upgrade to Mondo Croquet, which uses 16-pound sledgehammers and bowling balls for their games? "Leave mallets and wood to the marimba!" they say. (Wait, no that's what we say.)

Each year at the Mondo Croquet World Championships, players use bent steel rebar as wickets and Portland's annual Mad Hatter Picnic as an excuse to dress like elves, princesses, and the top hatter himself.

The stake at the far end of the course is topped with a stuffed animal, and the starting and ending stake is topped with a skull or skeleton. (Why, you ask? Once a player completes the course and hits the start/end stake, his ball becomes a "zombie" and can eliminate other balls by striking them.) If the game were to gain popularity in Hollywood, we'd all be seeing trailers for the next blockbuster, Zombies with Sledgehammers.

While Mondo Croquet players do exhibit genuine fortitude by wearing Raggedy Ann-striped stockings in public, they do not possess balls of steel: If a player cracks his ball, he must finish the game with the largest piece. Unless, of course, he buys beers for the entire crowd.

Feel like a "big shot" already? All the weird you need is at: www.mondocroquet.com.

No Dribbling the Squid

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