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This page has partied way too hard and is passed out under a tree somewhere. It was last seen near the main stage busting a move on a piece of modern art, that, strangely enough, did look a little like Mariah Carey.

My mate Mick is out looking for it, but chances are if he finds it he'll probably go missing too - Mick's not too good with directions and is easily led.

If that happens, we'll send Simmo out to look for Mick, but Simmo's not too bright so chances are he'll go missing too.

If that happens, we'll give up. To be honest we never really liked Mick or Simmo that much anyway and it's no use getting silly.

Paul D.