Burger Fest

Festival Location: Seymour, WI, USA

Festival State: Wisconsin Festivals

Festival Type(s): Food Festivals, Bizarre Festivals

By: © Nelson Taylor 2009

Every initial Saturday in August since 1885, the cows in the fields of Seymour, Wisconsin get a little jumpy. It's the sight of the celebrated Outagamie County Fair, where more than a century ago, fifteen year old Charlie Nagreen tried hawking meatballs smothered in onions from the back of his ox-drawn cart. When his feast was less than fruitful for fair-goers on the move, like any wild-eyed entrepreneur, Charlie imagined what has since become a worldwide institution: the American hamburger.

If the name "Hamburger Charlie" doesn't already ring a bell, this town of Fargo-talking folks has your name on their garage wall. Violet Guaerke, the daughter of Hamburger Charlie, says, "You know, he's not just my father. He's almost the town's father. He's the father of the hamburger." Although Vi can't remember much about anything anymore, she recalls her father's sales pitch with gusto -- "'Hamburger, hamburger, hamburger hot, with an onion in the middle and a pickle on top, makes your lips go flippity-flop.'" Although disputed by would-be hamburglars in towns like Hamburg, PA, Athens, TX, and Akrin, OH, in the late 80s Seymour finally cooked its ravenous rivals after White Castle donned their reffing stripes and took a national poll.

Though the world hasn't heard Hamburger Charlies' mantra in over 50 years, his legacy can be seen, if not felt in the air around Seymour. 1990 marked the dedication of the Hamburger Hall of Fame, which is a makeshift museum filled with all sorts of hamburger paraphernalia. Their most prized artifact dates back to a recent fair when Seymour grilled the Guinness Book of World Record-holding hamburger, weighing in at a whoppering 5,220 pounds. Vivien Treml, President of the Home of the Hamburger, Inc., boasts, "Yeah, we built a grill the size of a two-car garage." Measuring over 21 feet across, the mammoth patty would have been a bitch to flip. But local steel-workers Steve Mielke and Joe Sauer had a plan. They designed a cover that had to be lifted on and off by a crane, removing the need to flip the behemoth burger. "Oh yeah," Vivien continues, "have you seen it yet? The entire grill is on display at the hamburger museum. No kidding."

This year's Burger Fest fun doesn't get started until the sun is a good three-fingers over the tree line. "My God," Vivien explains, "You should really try the Ketchup Slide. That's where people pay to slide on a mixture of ketchup and water. And we got the Bun Toss. You know, we have a local baker make a hard and heavy bun so people can throw it like a discuss." Vivien goes on to leak never-before-revealed info from the halls of the Home of the Hamburger. She says that although they've had problems with stray salivating dogs, they've been lucky enough to have had avoided large-beaked dive-bombing birds. She admits, many locals actually do eat hamburgers for breakfast in the local greasyspoons. Also, it's no doubt she's heard rumors of Ronald McDonald lurking at the outskirts of town. And funny that, but there are no known out-of-the-closet vegetarians in Seymour. But they're looking into it. This is a free event.