Boat Racing Festival

Festival Location: All Areas, Laos

Festival Type(s): National Festivals, Parties

Loves, Labours, Laos

By: © Yuri Wuensch 2009

The labour: We left Chiang Rai for Chiang Khong, which is right at the Thai-Laos border. It's a river town on the Maekong. We arrived on the other side at Huay Xai, we felt, with enough time to catch a boat down river to the town of Luang Prabang. And we had our choice of either a slow boat or a fast one. The slow boat takes two days whereas the fast one takes six hours. We decided on the fast one. The guy selling tickets seemed a bit dodgy, but that seemed to make sense as the boats are as dodgy as hell.

If the Dukes of Hazzard were from Laos and enjoyed boating, this would be their thing completely. Even though it was described as a jet boat, it's really just a long wooden boat with a honking 16v Toyota engine block sitting grotesquely on the end. And it goes like snot! The roughly 200km trip can be done in about 6-7 hours and the only thing spared is your comfort and sanity.

It's difficult to appreciate the beauty of the Maekong when you're curled up into a small ball and the plywood backrest is digging into your vertebrae. It put me into the mind of one of those cube-shaped watermelons the Japanese have perfected - but a seedless watermelon. I'm sure after sitting in that position under that heat and humidity I am now sterile. We sat like that for about an hour. Finally, an American guy on the boat deigned to shift positions a bit and give us a bit more room, this despite the protestations of the boat's captain, sadist that he was. I was appreciative that American guy helped us out, but something about him irked me: prototypical west coast surfer dude with hot France French girlfriend. Yeah, that was it.

We get into Luang Prabang and are near delerious. We more or less agreed to the first offer we got at the port where accomodations were concerned. But it was cool - it turned out to be a great place, and fairly cheap. On the way in, looking around the river town, our first impression was:

Nothing.

I mean it seemed like there was nothing there. But there was really: some of the nicest guest houses, bars and restaurants I've seen in Asia. But I couldn't believe how many there were. It was disproportionate to the town, really. Luang Prabang was declared a world heritage site by UNESCO in 1995 or so and the town has been gearing up for the influx of tourism since then, to the point of saturation. The Laos people seem hopeful about what tourism might bring unlike the Thais who already know too well and simply want more of it.

We check in. Our tuk tuk driver tells us that we arrived at a good time as there are bull races in the river the next day. And we're like, "Well, that's cool." But the next day we not only discover that it isn't in fact bull races, but also that we've arrived here at the most opportune time of the year.

Every year, in the end of October, Luang Prabang is a town of celebration. They have a boat races on the river followed by a big party and dance. The day after that, the townspeople have a ceremonial feeding of the monks with offerings of food. Then, the following night, culminating and coinciding with the full moon, there's a lantern festival. Each temple in town (and there are a lot of them) prepares a boat covered in candles. After a big ceremony, the boats are launched down the Maekong - and the townspeople launch little candle lanterns also. The whole river is lit up!

I'm all for planning a trip. Whether it's a pilgrimage to Mecca or a whoop-de-doo at a Full Moon Party in the south of Thailand. I'm sure the preparation makes it really satisfying. But there's definitely something to be said for fluking out. We could pinch ourselves we felt so fortunate to be there! I could come home now and this would already be one of the best vacations I have ever had.

So, we check out the boating party. WOW! An epic piss-up if there ever was one. They were carrying Laos people out of there they were so tanked! And the dancing? It seemed like every four songs they played the same song, but it didn't matter to the young Laos kids who sang along constantly. Every time a song would start, they would rush the dance floor. Every time it ended, they would leave just as quickly. Why not just stay on the dance floor? Well, under that humidity, you needed to disperse if you wanted to stay conscious.

I have never seen so many similing faces! How friendly are the Laos people? Imagine the friendliest person you know. Okay? Okay...you are wrong - that person is an asshole compared to the people here. The Laos people are so nice, helpful and great. We were having a ball! I hooked up with some Aussie kids who were with a table of older Laos. I was plied with Laos moonshine - some thinner-like methyl alcohol. It eventually had me falling out of a boat and soiling my ass in the Maekong, much to the delight of the onlooking crowd.

The next day, George and I got separated and I hit a waterfall about a half-hour out of town. Amazing! A very broad but low waterfall that courses right through the jungle in tiers. I can't do it justice, really. Very beautiful. I met some South African girls and we hit another piss-up and boat party at a different river that spills into the Maekong. This party was even nuttier than the one from the day before! I found George who had gotten himself hooked up with a group of middle-aged Laos. They offered us a ride back into town.

But not before two stop-offs for drinks. At the second place, a nice villa on the outskirts of town. There I had a conversation with Boumy.

Mom and dad will be proud to know that my education hasn't been a total waste. Laos was a French colony from the 1890s to the 1950s and there's still a large French-speaking portion of the country. And I used my halting Francais to jab with Boumy, a happy cat who looked to be in his 50s or 60s.

We talked about the French influence, forthcoming tourism and the king of Luang Prabang who fled in 1975 because of the rise of the new regime. The new regime was upset about the various social injustices one might associate with a third-world economy and a monarchy. The king high-tailed it north to China, so it's assumed, and nobody has seen or heard from him since.

"Boumy, what's the biggest difference between now and when the king was in power?"

"Well, I wouldn't even be here right now, drinking at this particular house."

Why not? It seems that this house in question is owned and lived in by former members of the royal family. Wow, boozing with royals!

The next day: the lantern festival! I have never seen anything like it and feel completely blessed to have been there for it. The BEST vacation photos I have ever taken. I had the foresight to shoot some pics at a larger resolution and they should be worthy of framing. The pisser is when my camera's battery went dead - but I still got tons of amazing shots.

A really beautiful few days.

Ladies and gentlemen: Laos. I can't recommend going enough, but be sure to plan your trip for the end of October next year.

We're now in the capital, Vientiane, and treated ourselves to a night in one of the best hotels in town. I am off to the pewl...

Check out Yuri's great article on Ko Pha-Ngan's Full Moon Party in Thailand.

by Yuri Wuensch