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Bald is Beautiful Convention
Chrome dome alert! Long hairs beware, because skin is in. At least in smallsville Morehead City, home of the annual September Bald is Beautiful Convention, whose headquarters is located on Bald Street. "Morehead means less hair," says John Capps, a beefy buffed-brain, who could pass as the stunt double for an over-the-hill Mr. Clean. Capps is the founder of the Bald Headed Men of America, an organization that boasts 35,000 members from 50 states and 39 countries.
"If you have a haircut with a hole in it, fringe benefits, or a forehead that reaches back five inches from the eyebrows, hey you qualify to be a proud bald-headed man." Capps, who began losing his hair at 15, corralled up his cueball cohorts 26 years ago and began waging their battle for respect. This September event has sprouted into a weekend of "Baldies are the best!" ceremonial chants, feel-good clinics and advice about how to care for a bald head, like "what happens if you shave off little red stubbies that pop up on the top of your head." And there are tons o' corny contests; awards are given for the Sexiest Bald Head, Most Improved Bald Head, Most Distinguished Bald Head, not to mention awards for Telly Savalas and Montel Williams look-alikes.
But probably the most-impressive aspect about Capps' bald-headed career is that he has perfected the art of hair guessing. He promises that just by speaking with you he'll be able to tell what kind of head of haircut you're sporting. "I don't miss," Capps grunts. So give him a call. He just might knock your rug off.
The above snippet is just one of a collection of 240 off-beat articles on 2camels from Nelson Taylor's wonderful America Bizarro.
America Bizarro is a unique travel guide that celebrates humorously interesting, pop-culture kitschy and off-the-map odd festivals, out-of-the-way gatherings, kooky conventions, conferences and contests throughout the United States.